Secret diaries of mysterious time traveller discovered in Virginia house fire.

Thursday May 1, 2008
Grandpa Walton
Grandpa Walton with the only known photo of John Titor, April 1936. “Titor would say - In the future photos like these will be done using small mechanical telephones.”

Fire fighters battling an historical house fire have discovered a diary dating back to 1936 containing detailed recordings made by a John Boy Walton, revealing his amazing encounter with a man claiming he was from ‘100 years’ in the future.

John Walton Jr. and his family of Rockfish Virginia say they were visited by a man named John Titor. Unlike most travelling vagabonds who would often turn up on the Walton’s doorstep during the depression, this man told the family he was a time traveller. From the year 2036!

John Boy Walton writes of his brief but incredible encounter with Titor:
“Mr Titor said he was from a time after the big war, that he worked for the military, and was sent back in time to acquire some computer components and De Lorean hub caps for a professor friend. He told us he was sent back to the depression by mistake and was on his way to the year 1970 to meet a gentleman named Alvin Toffler, a writer like myself.
Due to a malfunction Mr Titor accidentally overshot his mark and he needed to source a $1.12 replacement switch for his time machine, which we later managed to adapt from a part off Mr Godsey’s Model A. Pa gave Mr Titor a job in the lumber mill for 8 weeks until he paid it off, then he was gone again, perhaps somewhere into the future.
We spent many hours sitting in front of the fire at night, listening to Mr Titor playing his guitar and telling us amazing stories of life in the future... And one thing I can tell you, folks in those days must have had it pretty hard.

John Titor would entertain the Walton family with his amazing stories of the future in a rustic living room probably similar to this one.

Although his stories didn’t make a whole lot a sense to us, he was very fascinating all the same. Indeed he was the most interesting person we had stay with us since that Belgian bypass surgeon who fixed up grandpa last spring.
Mr Titor was a good worker, knew all there was to know about string theory micro - singularities, was polite and always helped with the dishes.
Sometimes he would get serious and say that, people from his time would often be very cross with the generation that preceded them. Saying they were ‘just a bunch of burger eating, plasma watching, SUV driving, poo in their pants hopeless lot that, without a doubt, deserved to be screwed over by the powers that be...’ He would often lose me about here.”

Fender Telecaster time machine.
Titor’s Telecaster time machine.

John Boy Walton records some of Titor’s strange tales of the future:

Something called television. Just like saturday cinema talkies only smaller. They will be in every home, much like the wireless, playing reality shows about fat people on treasure islands. Yes they have treasure islands in the future.

Young Generation:
Young’uns will go to dance halls like the Dew Drop Inn and pay the price of an automobile today just to drink water and watch people play phonograms, sometimes up to 2 at a time. There are no musicians in the future which mama thought was a shame.

World Markets:
He advised us to invest in War Bonds, bicycle tyres, The other news, and something about three men, a window maker and an apple grower.

John Walton Jr
John Walton Jr. All American hard working model son and writer from the depression.

Social Issues:
Our grandchildren will become liberated and say words like ‘groovy’ and ‘solid’. Then move to California and take lots of tonic and drugs, but he didn’t say where.

City Folk:
Black men will speak a foreign language, wear big chains again, and hang in the hood. Not too sure what he meant by that.

Food Supply:
Families will be smaller, and an over supply food epidemic will turn all the children into big fatties.

Future Trends:
Ethyl, booze, and the boogie woogie were going to be the next big thing.

The Walton diary has since been confiscated by Govt officials. Anyone connected with any surviving members of the Walton family are to contact the FBI immediately.