Queen not amused over PM’s phone text scandal.

New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark is in more hot water over the alleged phone texting fiasco during the Queen’s speech at the recent Commonwealth heads of Government Meeting.

At the time Miss Clark denied using her cellphone at any stage during the Queen’s speech, however later changed her story when photographic evidence proved otherwise.

Using specialised digital video enhancing technology only seen on high tech TV cop shows, the true nature of the PM’s text message has been uncovered. And the English are not happy.

“Yes”, said Shona Hoppley of PR-are-Us. “British text jokes we’re indeed uncalled for given the seriousness of such a meeting. This is undiplomatic and of poor taste. Although some of the Aussies saw the funny side.”

Hoppley said Clark was later reported saying, “Well hey, the Brits must understand we Kiwi’s are busy people. Next to countries like Japan, New Zealand has among the longest working hours in the developed world. We don’t get to stop work every ten minutes for cups of tea, or go to the pub every lunch time for Guinness and vinegar pies. Bit of a bugger really.”

When asked of the crisis, the Queen said, “I am very busy too, and went out of my way to attend that meeting, wrote a speech and everything.” Her Majesty went on to say, “Well at least now I don’t feel so bad about that time she phoned me up at the Palace and we chatted for over an hour while I was sitting on the can. Oh, did I really say that? Tehehehe.”
What the British have to say:

Gordon Ramsay
Chef
“Next time a %#$@&$ half pissed track-suit wearing $@!#!? Kiwi comes into my restaurant, I’ll piss in their &%$@#?! tiramisu!”

Muriel Stanton
64yro spinster with glasses and hair curlers
“Oh, you wouldn’t read about it would you.”

Charlie Mcfarley
Council supervisor
“This great nation was build on a jolly good laugh or two. And a few other things I’m quite sure. ”