Hair Buns cause chaos in Movie Theatres; petition started.

Wednesday August 9, 2017
Movie goers urged to let their hair down.

Auckland woman Alise Shorten has gathered 2,000 signatures on an online petition calling to ban buns in movie theatres.  Ms. Shorten, a self-described avid movie goer, said she was prompted to start the petition after not being able to see properly at the recent New Zealand International Film Festival – “I attended twenty three movies and several times I had some person with a top-bun sitting in front of me, this completely obstructed my view.  I think it’s the height of disregard, why would you choose to wear a bun on top of your head when you know someone will sit behind you?”.

The petition proposes that people consider other movie goers when styling their hair before a screening.  “We’re just asking people to be considerate.  If you’re going to a film, consider letting your hair down” said Shorten.  However investigation by The Other News showed that the top offenders were men whose hair was not actually long enough to leave down and still show the much desired fashionable individuality.

“If I let my hair down, I’d just be another guy with slightly longer than usual hair, which is not hip. I put a lot of effort into pulling my hair into a tight bun, we don’t need to be controlled like this by some nazi fun killer” said Matt Mandrake, a regular film festival movie-goer and part time barista. “If she comes into my café, she won’t be getting my signature piccolo latte I can tell you that much.”

Organisers of the Film Festival were also not so enthusiastic on Shorten’s petition, a representative explained “We can’t discriminate against people wearing buns, especially man-buns, that would cut right through a significant chunk of our demographic and out theatres would be half empty!”.

The Other News also sought comment from main movie provider Expense Cinemas – “We do not feel the need to ban buns from our theatres.  We suggest that short people book seats in the front row, those seats are usually empty anyway. If they don’t want to strain their necks to see the movie, they should consider being a bit taller.”