Avocado Market Smashed: Young to blame.

Lead New Zealand food supplier Regressive Enterprises has confirmed what has long been suspected – a severe drop in the price of avocados.  Supermarket spokeswoman Polly Plodder said “we have confirmed that the price of an avocado has now dropped to 50c each”.

The Other News has uncovered the alarming cause of the price drop:  Millennials financing their property purchases by growing avocado seeds.  First home owner Mark Flanagan shared his story with us:  “When I heard the politicians suggest that young people needed to cut consumption of smashed avocado for breakfast to save for a house, I had an idea!  I now grow 2 avocado trees on my apartment balconette, I estimate a yield of 300 avocados per year, I thought that would surely finance my mortgage.  What I didn’t bank on was other people doing the same thing, now the price of avocados has dropped so low that I can’t rely on this income to help with the $500,000 mortgage I have for my 28sqm studio apartment”.

Mr. Flanagan said he feels “disappointed and let down” because he believed he was in a desperate situation and was misled by politicians about the real value of avocados.  Other first home buyers in similar situations have therefore turned to other crops to finance their purchases.  Rob Harley, 65, described his experience – “I advised my children this 4 years ago, when house prices began to grow rapidly, they need to consider horticultural options to afford a property.  No problem, they just need somewhere with a decent sized garage if they want to grow indoors, or a large back yard for a greenhouse.  No problem with getting green fingers, I say”.

When asked for a quote Prime Minister Bill English seemed to agree:  “Look, I’ve said this before, there is no housing crisis, in fact this is a good problem for New Zilland.  If rising house prices is encouraging young kiwis to be more entrepreneurial then this is just evidence that our economic strategies are working.  After all, people in my local community of Dipston have long been using their back yards for entrepreneurial activities such as farming, it’s about time these Aucklanders caught up”.